The 7 Stages of Grief

Here is the grief model called "The 7 Stages of Grief":

When we talk about healing, we are describing a big spectrum. (mass image, apparition). It is not just the physical, but the emotional, the mental, the spiritual healing that we all seek.

When you go through the death of a love one, or a betrayal or perhaps a divorce, the lost your house, your finances have gone down the drain, children left the home, a lost of your job, etc. you enter a time of grief. Now Let me give you a bit of explanation of what happens when a person goes through this level of grief:

The brain is composed of several parts (I am and not going to give you a class on neurology here, but I need to explain briefly how your brain works with regards to inner healing) for you to understand what happens when your emotions go haywire. There is a part of your brain called corpus collosum(d), it is a white left hemisphere of the brain, it is matter that connects the right and larger in women than in men, permitting greater crosstalk between the two hemispheres. (Parenthesis, that is why women have 30,000 words per day and men 15,000, and you wonder why he gets home and does not want to talk when you still have about 10,000 words left to spit out).
Then there is the limbic system, that is composed of the hypothalamus (f) hyppocampus and amygdala, these control hunger, thirst, response to pain, levels of pleasure, sexual satisfaction, anger and aggressive behavior. The Thalamus (e) which is below the ventrol tagmental area and is responsible for pleasure, people with damage here tend to have difficulty getting pleasure in life and often turn to alcohol, drugs, sweets and gambling. There is also the cingulate gyrus which is the part of the cerebrum that lies closest to the limbic system, just above the corpus collosum, this is responsible for focusing attention on emotionally significant events and for associating memories to smells and to pain.

braing
A. PITIULARY GLAND

B. CEREBRUM

C. SKULL

D. CORPUS COLLOSUM

E. THALAMUS

F. HYPOTHALAMUS

G.PONS

H. CEREBELUM

I. MEDULA

J. SPINAL CORD

At this point a person's emotions are all out of sync and he/she goes through 7 Stages of Grief, which takes five years to overcome. They are:

1. SHOCK & DENIAL

You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT

As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING

Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS

Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

5. THE UPWARD TURN

As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH

As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE

During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward. 

Choose a Language

Note: Almost all content is available in both languages. Some content might not be.

We have 26 guests and no members online